Kwasi-Infinity

he is kind enough to let me live
although he doesn't care if I do
and doesn't know if I don't

I have been forgotten
smaller than a neuron
and not a single one of his remembers me
when all of mine are dedicated to him
every thought and every action an unanswered prayer
a worthless worship

there is no up nor down
the same horizon left and right
no gravity to peel me off
I do not know what lies beyond
the only way is forward
toward a goal I cannot reach
toward a fate I cannot wait for

there is nowhere else I'd rather be
there is nowhere else

I am withering away
yet time does not seem to pass
sometimes everything goes dark
—a sock, a blanket, a tongue perhaps—
but I cannot count the years

cramps in my arms
salt in my mouth
worn down to my bones
suffering down to the marrow
rapture too big for my brain
yet I keep doing it again and again
it scrapes
it burns
all pain

reduced to nothingness
I am just a husk of what I used to be
a thing I cannot remember anymore
no past and no future
a path I'm forced to make
a loop with no escape

I kiss the ground I'm crawling on
I grip the flesh and soldier on
a bead of sweat slides past me like an avalanche
there is no point in licking when a single grain of grime is a mountain to me
there is no sound nor smell
they are too big for me

is it a blessing or a curse that I am not yet washed away?
does Fate deign turn its eye towards me?
can I get any more insignificant?

and still I keep on
endlessly licking
the sole that is my soil
the skin that is my world
my forever home